Hey, how'd y'all make out today? How could you do this to us after everything we've done for you? Oh, see, I made Louis a bet here. Louis bet me that we couldn't both get rich and put y'all in the poorhouse at the same time. You didn't think we could do it. I won. I lost. One dollar. Thank you, Louis. After you. Certainly. Margin call, gentlemen. O
Part 1. Mister Robinson's Neighborhood Best Moments (SNL). I'm all alone today, but that don't mean you can stay too long, 'cause my wife will be home from work soon. Can you say bitch? I'm sure you can. That's our special word today, you know. Come sleep. It's a very special word. Do you know any? I'm sure you do. They come in all colors: black, w
I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime and fuck you up wherever she was aiming. Was bad with that shoe. She would like carry that shit like a gun. By the time I was like ten, my mother would like Clint Eastwood with a shoe. And you fuck up, my mother walking in the room was like... (whistling sound, mimicking a bullet r
Spanish. That's the shit. You know what I really want to learn how to speak? I'd like to learn how to speak French 'cause that's some cool shit, French. You can say 'I got a shit' in French, it'll sound good. Mon désir est de faire caca. Oh, it just sounds good, man. I don't like that shit, that Arabic, that the motherfuckers be speaking in the 7-E
I'm saying, I'm addicted to this big. Kids gonna be waking up like this. A n***ro stick's gonna come in and get me, mom. I'm gonna tell y'all a little joke y'all can tell in school, all right? Because I've been telling this dirty stuff. Okay? Here's a little joke for y'all. Y'all can listen to it too. I know lots of times people see my show, then g
Part 1 😂🤣 EDDIE MURPHY CHINESE PEOPLE GET IT BAD. Eddie Murphy performs stand-up comedy. He talks about how Chinese people are often teased. He imitates Chinese accents when ordering food, saying things like 'Oh, what you want, what you want, what you want?' and 'I'll have one egg for you, one egg for me.' He then imagines Chinese people ordering a
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